*Photo Credit Chicago Doula
In my reading I came across the topic of having a doula attend and help with labor. I also had many people recommend having one, especially where I was planning to have a hospital birth (the logic is the more natural birth advocates you have in the room the better). Because I was only self educating on how to cope with labor I found a lot of comfort in the idea of hiring someone with a wealth of knowledge to help me. This set me on the course of trying to find a doula.
I was lucky to discover that an organization here in Omaha was doing a "Doula Speed Dating" event. I thought this was one of the best ideas ever! I could go to one location and get to meet a number of doulas all at one time. Otherwise it would mean contacting and setting up meetings with individual doulas which would be very time consuming.
I attended the event full of excitement and anticipation. As the "dating game" proceeded I became a little more discouraged and by the time I was heading home I was full on disappointed. I had met a lot of really great women but there weren't any that I really clicked with and felt good about. What now?
Since I hadn't been successful in finding a doula through the speed dating event I began searching at DONA.org which is essentially a database with many of the doulas registered through their organization. This is one of the main organizations that helps doulas gain some credibility but not all doulas work through DONA. To try and catch those doulas who weren't registered through DONA I simply did a Google search.
I researched (as much as I could, many doulas don't have much of an online presence) and then emailed those doulas I was interested in to check their availability I ran into a lot of "already booked" responses. I was kind of surprised by this. I was quickly learning that if you want a doula you probably should get them "reserved" as early on as you can.
One of my concerns about having a doula was that they would not only need to work well with myself and my husband but also with my midwife. That being said I had heard that the group of midwives I was seeing didn't really love working with doulas. Because of this I thought I would ask them if they had any recommendations. I asked two of the three midwives and both recommended the same doula. Score!
I eagerly looked up this particular doula only to find out that she charged $500! Ouch. Again I learned a fast lesson that some of the most sought after doulas can charge a pretty penny. I was again so disappointed. As a last attempt I thought I would just ask this particular doula if there was any flexibility in her cost. She responded and said she would be willing to do it for $300 which was very generous, enough so that we decided we would set up an appointment to meet.
When I met this particular doula it was an instant connection. I loved her! She was very "granola" but I loved it. She was kind, funny and I felt really comfortable with her. I thought the meeting went really well.
The funny part of this story is that in the end I felt it best to have just my husband and I work together. I made my husband commit to learn and practice with me because I knew I could not do it alone. He agreed and we set on the path to prepare together.
So I eneded up at"No doula" but maybe one day I will have one. I believe that if it's a good fit a doula can be a very positive addition to a woman's support team, because you've got to have a stellar support team no matter who its made up of.
Anyone have an experience with a doula? I'd love to hear about it.
Can I just say one thing about doulas. THEY ARE AMAZING WOMEN and they are worth EVERY penny. $500 for a good doula is actually a VERY good price. I know so many doulas and the amount of time and energy that they put into your birth is incredible. I would pay anywhere between $500-$800 for a good doula and that is not unreasonable at all. Trust me on this. I know it's not an expense that most people plan on so it seems like a lot of money (and yes it is a big investment) but this is your birth. You only get to give birth to this baby one time. You only have one chance. For me, I am willing to spend the extra money on something like this. If you really want something or if it is important to you, you will find a way to pay for it. Seriously, a doula is the same price as 9 months of cable TV, or like 12 dinners out.
ReplyDeleteOne other thing. These women really do deserve to be paid for the work they do. They have been educated (which costs money), many have been certified (which costs money), they spend TONS of time staying current on hospital procedures, recent studies so they can keep you informed during your birth, they are on call for weeks until you give birth (many of my doula friends can't sleep while they are on call - they are thinking of their clients always), they have to find child care for their own families (which costs money), sometimes they are with a laboring mother for days with out so much as a bathroom break or lunch break. If you want a doula, hire a doula, pay her. This is her job, and most doulas take this job very seriously. They give their whole heart and soul to you while you are birthing.
I am pretty passionate about this because there is a crisis with doulas here in Utah. So many are working for practically nothing and they can't keep doing it. We are losing doulas because of this problem and we need more doulas not less.
Thank you Amy for your insight. I'm glad you shared your knowledge. Like I mentioned on Facebook I agree that doulas are incredible and can be such a wonderful help and influence at a birth. I wasn't real clear in my post that the $$ for us was just way out of a grad school student's budget (unfortunately) and we also in the end felt it was best for us to just work together as husband and wife. Again, I completely recognize the value of a doula and appreciate your sharing your thoughts.
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