My Natural Birth Journey: Birth Plan

As and avid planner it is shocking that with my first baby I never created a birth plan. To be honest my thought process was such...

"I have a doctor. I'm getting and epidural. What more needs to be planned?" 

I was so clueless. OK, I'll cut myself some slack I just wasn't educated enough to know that there are many options and choices when it comes to birth and making a birth plan is a really important aspect of the whole birth process. 

Hindsight is 20/20 right? So with baby #2 I had birth plan. I found it so helpful to mentally walk through each aspect of labor, delivery and the immediate time after the birth to help me determine exactly what I wanted and didn't want. 

In writing my birth plan I started with a template (specifically this BabyCenter template) to help create the basic framework of my plan and then I added or removed different items according to what I wanted. 

Below are some of the things that I would be sure to think about and address in your birth plan if you're planning a hospital birth. So many of these things I didn't even realize I had a say or the option but YOU DO! Just like the image above image states "If you don't know your options then you don't have any."  Be sure to think through what it is you want, know your options and then be flexible if things need to change. 

Here are some of the things I would think about as you put your birth plan together. Keep in mind a lot of this is geared toward a hospital birth. 

Surroundings
* If you want a natural birth be sure to state that right at the very tip top.
* What do you want the room to be like? Quiet? Soft lighting? Music? 
* Who do you want present during labor and delivery? Med students OK?
* You don't have to state this in your birth plan but you can consider it. What would you like to wear? I personally labored in my own clothes (so awesome!) until after getting out of the tub. It worked great so that I spent most of the time in what I was most comfortable and then the hospital gown got to take the dirty work.

Labor
* What do you desire to use for pain management? If you want a natural birth state that you will ask for pain medications if wanted. 
* What kind of monitoring would you like? Intermittent? Continuous? 
* What are your feelings about having your water broken (aka bag of waters)? 
* How do you feel about medication to help labor progress (i.e. pitocin)?

Delivery
* Do you want to push instinctively (usually only possible without epidural)? 
* What position do you want to deliver your baby? (side lying, all fours, squat, semi-reclining)
* Do you want a mirror to see what's going on down there (sounds crazy but if you think about it seeing might help you push effectively)? 
* Are you OK with an episiotomy or would you rather tear naturally (hopefully it doesn't happen at all!)? 

After Birth
* Do you want to hold your baby right away if possible?
* When and who do you want to cut the umbilical cord? 

Baby
* Do you want baby to receive vitamin K shot? 
* Do you want baby to receive Hep B shot? 
* Do you want baby to receive erythromycin (eye medicine)?
* Breastfeeding or formula?

In order to answer some of these questions you're going to have to do a little research but that is exactly what I wished I would have done the first time. The more you know the easier it will be for you to make an educated decision that is best for you and your baby. 

Do your research. Be informed. Be in control of your birth! You'll be so glad you did. 

Birth Stories

*Me holding little miss Abigail after birth.

I love hearing birth stories. It has become a new addiction of mine. I get crazy excited when I have friends get towards the end of their pregnancies as I know the baby will be coming soon and their story will unfold. 

Once I get word the baby has arrived it takes almost everything I have not to run to the hospital or call them on the phone to hear the whole story. Obviously I refrain, no one wants to talk to me immediately after they have had their baby, so I wait with as much patience as I can muster. 

When I finally get the chance to hear the story I am mesmerized by the beauty that is a birth story. It doesn't matter how it happens but that it happens.

I love hearing every detail starting from 'I woke at 4:29 AM with occasional contractions' as well as details such as 'I was sweating like crazy while I pushed.' I'm especially attentive when they talk about that moment, you know, the one where they meet their baby for the very first time. After carrying, nourishing and growing this little person they finally get to meet them and it is the so awesome to hear about that moment. 

I am so excited for my two friends, each had very different births, but both have happy healthy babies and that is what matters most. I'm still waiting semi patiently until I get a chance to hear each of their birth stories. I have no doubt that they will be nothing short of amazing because the tale of life coming into this world will always be amazing.  

Carpet Protection

In our apartment our dinning area has carpet. Why in heavens name they decided to do this I have no idea. Worst. Idea. Ever. Do you know how much food goes from the dinner table to the floor in one meal? I have a toddler, enough said.

I was desperate to figure out something that would 1) protect the carpet and 2) (more importantly) help make cleanup easier. I am not a fan of cleaning carpet and I was doing it way more than I wanted to.

Solution: Carpet protection plastic. Yep, people this was life saving.

I made a quick trip to Home Depot and picked me a up a roll of this stuff. Gave my carpet a good vacuum and rolled this stuff out covering nearly my entire dining area. Bam! It's like you have poor people hard wood floors or tile, ok more like really cheap linoleum. Anyway...I can simply sweet up the crumbs instead of pulling out the vacuum every.single.day. Oh and liquid...no biggie just wipe it up with a paper towel. No more carpet cleaning, it's a beautiful thing. 

Sure it isn't the most glamorous part of our home but I figure this is the stage we are in and the current living conditions that we have to work with so I'd rather keep my sanity and make my housework chore list a little shorter or at least a little less time consuming. Maybe someday I'll have a dinning area with real wood floors....ahhh...that would be the day.  

My Natural Birth Journey: Partner Preparation

Ah, partner prep! I think this was the best part of this whole journey. I love my husband. I love doing things with my husband. Having him be so involved in this pregnancy was really great.

When as a couple we decided not to go the doula route I looked him straight in the eye and said "You have to promise me that you will study and learn how to help me in labor, I can't do this by myself." Like a good husband he agreed. 

Our guide through preparation was The Birth Partner. Boy was it an excellent guide!

Being the planner that I am we of course made a schedule (I was serious about this). We had a chapter each week that we were responsible to read on our own time then at the end of the week we would review together. 

We also practiced different labor positions and I guided him on things to do and not do. I wasn't sure if what I liked as a pregnant woman absent of a contracting uterus would stay true once I was actually in labor but we went with what felt good to me at the time. 

The discussions we had were really great and I felt that we came closer as a couple as we worked together to prepare for the birth of our precious little girl. We both learned a lot and felt pretty prepared after finishing the book. 

Even if you aren't looking for a natural birth and don't have a partner that needs preparing I would read this book anyway. It was very insightful and educational about the whole labor and delivery process. 

I learned a lot about what I might experience and that was very comforting to a wondering mind. I didn't know what to expect, so to have a little bit of an idea of what might happen helped me feel more prepared. Feeling more prepared helped me to feel more confident. Feeling more confident well that just makes the whole having a baby thing a whole lot easier. 

The hubs was a champ in labor. He was my rock. I was beyond grateful he was there and so thankful for all he did to support me. We did it. He and I, and that was really amazing. 

My Natural Birth Journey: Doula or No Doula?

*Photo Credit Chicago Doula

In my reading I came across the topic of having a doula attend and help with labor. I also had many people recommend having one, especially where I was planning to have a hospital birth (the logic is the more natural birth advocates you have in the room the better). Because I was only self educating on how to cope with labor I found a lot of comfort in the idea of hiring someone with a wealth of knowledge to help me. This set me on the course of trying to find a doula. 

I was lucky to discover that an organization here in Omaha was doing a "Doula Speed Dating" event. I thought this was one of the best ideas ever! I could go to one location and get to meet a number of doulas all at one time. Otherwise it would mean contacting and setting up meetings with individual doulas which would be very time consuming.

I attended the event full of excitement and anticipation. As the "dating game" proceeded I became a little more discouraged and by the time I was heading home I was full on disappointed. I had met a lot of really great women but there weren't any that I really clicked with and felt good about. What now?

Since I hadn't been successful in finding a doula through the speed dating event I began searching at DONA.org which is essentially a database with many of the doulas registered through their organization. This is one of the main organizations that helps doulas gain some credibility but not all doulas work through DONA. To try and catch those doulas who weren't registered through DONA I simply did a Google search. 

I researched (as much as I could, many doulas don't have much of an online presence) and then emailed those doulas I was interested in to check their availability  I ran into a lot of "already booked" responses. I was kind of surprised by this. I was quickly learning that if you want a doula you probably should get them "reserved" as early on as you can. 

One of my concerns about having a doula was that they would not only need to work well with myself and my husband but also with my midwife. That being said I had heard that the group of midwives I was seeing didn't really love working with doulas. Because of this I thought I would ask them if they had any recommendations. I asked two of the three midwives and both recommended the same doula. Score!

I eagerly looked up this particular doula only to find out that she charged $500! Ouch. Again I learned a fast lesson that some of the most sought after doulas can charge a pretty penny. I was again so disappointed. As a last attempt I thought I would just ask this particular doula if there was any flexibility in her cost. She responded and said she would be willing to do it for $300 which was very generous, enough so that we decided we would set up an appointment to meet. 

When I met this particular doula it was an instant connection. I loved her! She was very "granola" but I loved it. She was kind, funny and I felt really comfortable with her. I thought the meeting went really well. 

The funny part of this story is that in the end I felt it best to have just my husband and I work together. I made my husband commit to learn and practice with me because I knew I could not do it alone. He agreed and we set on the path to prepare together. 

So I eneded up at"No doula" but maybe one day I will have one. I believe that if it's a good fit a doula can be a very positive addition to a woman's support team, because you've got to have a stellar support team no matter who its made up of. 

Anyone have an experience with a doula? I'd love to hear about it. 

DFTRC: Energizer Bunny

It is 5:30 PM and my first born is putting the energizer bunny to shame and has been since 3:30 this afternoon.

I'm not sure what it is but Gavin wakes up from his nap with an insane amount energy! He doesn't stop talking or moving for even a minute.

I feel that it is incredibly ironic and unfortunate that his energy peak occurs at a point in the day when I am nearly maxed out. I am not my best self at the end of the day and it is a lethal combination to mix crazy kid with tired mom.

I resorted to having Gavin run "races" all over the house to burn some energy and to help me stay sane while my hands were busy holding a baby. 

Please tell me this happens to other moms. Do your kids have a really hyper time during the day? How do you channel that energy before it makes you crazy?

1 Hour

I'm learning that being a mom of two there isn't a whole lot of time to yourself at least not right now in these early stages.

Awhile back I came across a website called Power of Moms. One of the founders of the site was on a local Utah TV show (Studio 5) talking about her site and what they provide. The particular topic that she shared on the show was how moms are people too. She gave a list of things that people get to do and that since moms are people too they should also get to do these things. For example a mom has a right to a shower every day (hello! you would think this would be a given but isn't now is it moms?). The way she came up with her bill of rights was when her husband asked the question, what do you need to thrive? Not just survive but thrive? Read an article all about this here or see the TV clip here, I highly recommend both!

I have since pondered that question and thought about what I need to thrive each and every day. I have found that each day it is a little different but there is usually one thing that I need each day to take care of myself. It may be a walk, a shower or a few minutes to read, alone, in peace and quiet (ha!).

The husband is in law school so he is a busy guy. I want him to do well and so I support him as best I can. We have learned though that when we each sacrifice to support each other we ourselves feel better supported.

That being said I told the hubs that I need at least 1 hour each week all. to. myself. Last week was my first hour and it was heavenly and I came home ready and excited to care for our kiddos again. It was water to my well and I was so thankful for it. I think this may be a tradition that sticks around for a long time.

What do you need to thrive each day? How to you make sure that you get it?